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The Ultimate Beginner's Sex Toys Guide For Men and Women

Sex toys are for everyone! For the young and elderly - and you'd be surprised that many elder people have not even tried any sex toys in their bedroom. That depends on a lot of factors: it can be that you're worried that getting a sex toy would ruin your relationship, or it is not natural to use sex toys, or even - you don't know how to choose a sex toys etc. Sex toys are amazing bonuses to be added in your sex life. Whether you want a cool bed side toy, or want to spice up your sex life with your partners, sex toys can be the savior in spicing up your personal bedroom time!

Buying your first sex toy is a fun journey, and it is totally natural! There's a lot to learn in choosing the right sex toys for yourself. In this guide, we will cover a comprehensive guide of your first sex toy adventure!

A Basic Understanding of Sex Toys Materials on the Market

You don’t want to stick an unsafe toy in your body. Sex toys come with different materials, and it can be overwhelming for a first-timer. Phthalates are the number 1 chemical to avoid. We will go through a list of common sex toys materials below that includes PVC, jelly rubber, TPE, TPR and Silicone.

What is a Porous Sex Toy?

Porous means there are small holes in the material. These small holes allow any body fluids and lubricants to penetrate the materials. Therefore, porous sex toys are bacteria’s breeding grounds. No matter how clean it looks, bacteria, mildew, fungus can still stay insider or even multiplying. Examples of porous materials: PVC, TPE and jelly rubber.

What is a Non-Porous Sex Toy?

Opposite to porous, non-porous means that there’s no hole on the material and impermeable. Non-porous sex toys can be clean thoroughly, so the body fluids and lubricants will only remain on the surface. Some examples of non-porous materials include: silicone, glass and metal.

What are PVC and Phthalates?

It is always better to talk about Phthalates with PVC (Polyvinyl Chloride). Phthalates are a family of chemical compounds used to soften PVC, to make PVC more flexible. Phthalates are pretty much everywhere around you as it acts as “plasticiser” in most household appliances. Due to the strong performance and durability of Phthalates, not to mention its cost-effectiveness, high concentration of Phthalates is used in sex toys. This is because sex toys usually needs to be very flexible and thick for it to look and feel realistic, for example: dildo, pocket pussy, fleshlight etc…

How do Phthalates get into your body?

Humans are exposed to Phthalates through ingestion, inhalation and dermal contact. But how do Phthalates leak out of your PVC sex toys? Phthalates are physically bound to PVC or other kinds of plastics but not chemically bound (covalent bond). Thus when the toy is exposed to heat (in the warehouse, shipment etc…) for a long time, some leaching out can occur; or even friction - when you are thrusting your dildos or pocket pussy.

Health Effects of Phthalates

Phthalates are known as endocrine disruptors. Some common negative effects include decreased semen volume and quality. It also may be associated with breast cancer, obesity, diabetes and insulin resistance, metabolic disorders and so on.

Rubber and jelly sex toys are cheap, but are they safe?

Is my jelly dildo safe? No, they are not! Jelly sex toys always come cheap, and it is a common material for many entry-level sex toys. Jelly is made with rubber mixed with high concentration of PVC. As a first-timer, some of you might be too young to be financially independent, and hence price is also one of the major concern when getting a sex toy. Rubber and jelly sex toys are porous, which means that they absorb body fluids, lube, bacteria easily and cannot be sterilized.

Latex Rubber Sex Toys Can Cause Allergies

Same as jelly and PVC, latex sex toys are porous. While some people are born unlucky, they can be allergic to latex. In many cases, latex allergy symptoms develop after long exposures to latex, such as healthcare workers wearing gloves for a long time. There can also be rare cases that allergy occurs with direct contact with latex immediately. Latex symptoms include rash, itching, redness and swelling of the skin, stuffy and runny nose and in some serious cases: asthma and difficulty breathing.

Are TPE and TPR Body Safe Sex Toys Materials?

These two materials are generally safe. Big brands like Tenga and Fleshlight use safe TPE to give the sex toys silky, soft and squishy realistic touch. TPE and TPR are porous but non-toxic since they don't contain Phthalates. Be careful with your TPE or TPR toys, make sure to rinse it with warm water and soap (always read the manual regarding how to clean your sex toys). TPE and TPR toys cannot be sterilized.

Which Sex Toys Materials Are Body Safe?

  • Silicone
  • ABS Hard Plastics
  • Wood
  • Ceramic
  • Glass
  • Metal
  • TPE and TPR

Tips on Choosing a Quiet Sex Toys

If you are living with your flatmates or your parents, you’d definitely want your sex toys to be discreet and quiet. It’s impossible to know if the sex toys are quiet by browsing online. It is impossible to find a completely silent vibrating sex toy because when the sex toy is vibrating there’s a small disc inside the vibrator spinning. Here are a few tips to know if the sex toy is potentially quiet:

  • Made with good materials such as medical-grade silicone: Silicone muffles the noise much better than other materials. 100% silicone sex toys are usually more expensive, some good examples are WeVive and Lelo. Of course, you can find some 100% cheaper silicone sex toys here, we believe that excessive marketing can sometimes be the reason why some products are so expensive. There are also some reasonably priced sex toys, made by non-porous ABS hard plastic coated with body-safe polyurethane coating that works amazingly quiet!
  • Go for rechargeable sex toys - Sex toys that use batteries tend to make more noise than rechargeable ones there’re batteries ranging around when the toy is vibrating.

Size and Intensity

Size is important for a beginner. When choosing a dildo as a first-timer, you might not want to choose a super huge 12’’ dildo. You need to know the average erect penis size, which is 1.5 inches (width), 4 - 4.75 inches (girth), and 7 inches (length). For men, you might want to consider getting a cock ring as a beginner, but getting an adjustable cock ring can be a good solution to find the most suitable and comfortable size for you.

A cock ring applies pressure around the base of the penis and testicles, and therefore traps blood in the penis and helps erection lasts longer and stronger. To increase pleasure, getting an adjustable vibrating cock ring is a good way to experience your solo hands-free orgasm.

Both men and women should also consider getting a vibrator sex toy that is switchable to different vibration mode. Sticking to one vibration mode is not helpful to understand what makes you climax during your solo play.

Best Sex Toys for First-Timer

We will wrap up the guide with a list of recommended sex toys for first-timer. They are all easy to use and won't break your bank!

Bloom The Orchid Wand Massager - $73.99

Wand vibrator is a classic sex toy that gives you full control to explore the most sensitive part of your crotch! There are many different wand vibrators on the market. One of the most iconic wand vibrators of all time is the Hitachi Magic Wand, which is super intense (even on its lowest vibration intensity), and loud too. Starting with a wand vibrator is always a good idea for beginners, as the head of the vibrator offers you a wider area of contact to your sensitive part, which gives you a taste of intense sensation down there. 

Realistic dildo is crafted give you both tactual and visual stimulation. Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, and not surprisingly they often were made over-sized! Always choose dildo made of body safe materials as it is something that you'd stick into your body. Some dildos also vibrates and sometimes comes with a remote. 

If you'd like something that looks less like a real cock and yet beautifully looking, glass dildo is a good option. Guaranteed body-safe, glass dildo is made of non-porous borosilicate glass. Unlike other dildos, glass dildo does not come with a suction base, but it lets you control how deep do you want it to go. We've met a lot of people are very well stimulated by temperature, glass dildo works well here. Immerse your glass dildo into warm water or cold water to create temperature contrast and let it stimulates you. 

SVAKOM G-Spot and Clitoris Vibrator - $69.99

A G-Spot vibrator helps a beginner to find their erogenous zone inside her vagina. Vibrator with slightly curved shape is more suitable for beginners to pinpoint the G-Spot. Thicker vibrator can also offer you inner vagina sensation. 

You'd be surprised about how many men have not tried cock rings. Cock rings help to trap blood inside the shaft of your penis, which helps you maintain an erection. Cock ring is the most basic sex toys for those who have a penis, young or old and even for those who have performance anxiety during sex. If you are unsure about size of cock ring, you can always get an adjustable one. 

If you are very visual and get stimulated by what you are looking at, real life looking penis sleeve masturbator is the one. Or if you like anime, you might come across the term "onahole". These usually come with all kinds of shape (vulva, mouth, anus), bonus fantasy! 

Black&Silver Winki Masturbator is a modern sex toy that gives you hands-free pleasure. HotOctopus is the Father of such sex toy and indeed delivered an incredible alternative for men. Spending less amount of money in getting other similar sex toys to those branded ones always helps you to pinpoint your preference and make better decision in discovering sex toys of your preference. 

This comprehensive guide would definitely help you with choosing your sex toys. It's a lot of information but don't worry, our free sexual health experts are ready to answer to all of your questions and listen to your stories! 

Feel free to leave your comments below and we swear that we will get back to you! 

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